(status. last rev. August 2023, weird statements may be added any time!)
Yeah, well what one should certainly look out for!
Stuff that is avidly shared on the internet!
Here is a short anthology of what can be harvested in discussion groups all over the internet!
Facebook being the source of choice !!! LOL!
- The genus name of these plants is NOT "LITHOP" (with variations Lithrope, Lithpos, Lipthos, Lit hops etc) but LITHOPS. Always! It is like a "family" name! Not a plural nor singular, just a name like maybe "Rhinoceros"
- Keep insisting that Lithops grow in the desert! Trust me: they DON'T!
- No use for: Fine Sand. From the seashore. Unwashed.
- Pots with no drain holes.
- Don't Tell all newbies "Only water 2x/4x a year" or "never water them" without considering the newbie's growing climate or soil used, just because you've never watered yours in the two months you've had them and they haven't died YET. Lithops need periods of drought and periods of watering, nothing else.
- Watch out for advice using "teaspoons" of water ... Lithops need to be drenched at appropriate times, ie water needs to flow out of the pot's bottom holes!
Unless you use the correct teaspoons!
- "I've had these X weeks now, are these roots ok?" accompanied by photos of freshly uprooted plants. Uproot your perfectly healthy plants to check the roots because some youtube footage tells you to do so for no reason.
- "Water therapy" instead of just watering those shriveled little testicles, because you saw it on YouTube. Evil minds call it "waterboarding". See Guantanamo! LOL
- "NO water, they're changing leaves" because of a slight gape, even though the plants in question are in a different hemisphere, or even are preparing to put out a flower stalk (where they need water!).
- Plant them in a dish garden with Pleiospilos or Argyroderma or Lapidaria or Petunias.
- Buy seeds from China, because of the neon blue Lithops in the ad.
- Buy a lot of plants, then ask for advice AFTER they all die. Reject all advice because that's not what Google told you. Then be offended by the advice offered, because growing plants that look like little butts is serious business.
- Keep asking the same question using different wording, until you get the answer you want even though it's the wrong answer. Then ask what's wrong with your plant two weeks later because they start dying.
- Post a video on YouTube showing how to grow Lithops, but give the wrong info. Because it's not about giving the right info, it's about looking cute and gaining fans. Ooh, duck lips!
- Tear the old leaves open, to "fix" etiolation. Post a picture or video of it to show how radical you are. Do the same just to quickly expose the new embryo because you have no patience for a natural way of growing and claim that it will grow faster if you break open the old plant. Ignore the wounds it causes because you think that germs will never get in and may kill your plant.
- Insisting that your plants are having "a baby" and that it may be twins, although having twins is ok. They're just "self made men" (m/f) renewing themselves over & over.
- Never ever use a top dressing until you know how well your soil marries with your plants and you know that they will thrive and prosper in that soil and "no TD" will allow you to witness and follow this. Then, when you gain experience, ask yourself if you actually need a top dressing for yourself. Your plants do not need it at all and can easily do without it and probably will do better without it. It is a "user necessity, not a plant necessity"
- NEVER, ever PULL out/off stuff from Lithops plants especially dried flower stalks. You may just rip off the growing point. Always CUT off things if you need to do so. For dry flower stalks and/or seed pods, use one of those small, bent nail scissors, and make sure that they are sharp, very sharp aka able to cut!
- Asking for the age of a Lithops by judging the size of the "leaves" may be a bit funny. They're never older than one year. (give or take a possible exception/margin by one year)
- What "stage" are my Lithops in? asked over & over! Simple answer: They are at the "stage" of the local season, even if the previous owner mucked them up big time ... this Q "in what stage are they" is becoming quite ridiculous. It is the owner's skill that must bring the plants in the state that is supposedly required by the existing seasonal conditions! all the rest are just words, words words ...
- (Use with caution) Lithops needs lots of organics in the soil as they grow in elephant's poo ... oh boy!
- "Never, ever water Lithops over their heads as they will rot!" Weird that lots of Lithops rely on their water/humidity needs on dew and fogs! Lots of it! Makes the heads soaking wet by times! Used as an excuse for poor cultivation methodology.
- "Put your Lithops in the fridge overnight" as a magic gesture because you think you can't grow them otherwise! Heck, this is the last resort for people in the (sub)tropics who have to deal with hot nights for weeks, which disturbthe CAM metabolism! See "68F myth"
- "Your Lithops need 68F at night or they will not be able to take up water!", the avidly shared "68F myth"! Probably created by some newbie getting off the rocker. Completely poor understanding of the chemical dynamics of the CAM metabolism in succulents! At 68F at night the CAM efficiency is falling back at about 50% which may be considered critical. There was never ever a link to water uptake! At 90F at night the CAM metabolism stops and the plants will die by sort of metabolic suffocation! The original statement was "keep well under 68F at night" some stuff was thrown overboard!
- Plant your lithops so deep in the pot that they need to stretch to look over the rim!
- Ignore the advice to plant Lithops at a depth according to the colour change on their side, assume that they should be planted like celery in the veggie garden, just roots in the soil.